R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
