i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
