please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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