Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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