I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
