so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize