well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
