How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
