just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
