yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
