Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am puke
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
