sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
