You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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