that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
