STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
