did you get engaged???
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
