Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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