your room smells of hookers.
And success
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
