She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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