i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
