Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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