that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
