sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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