You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize