Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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