i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
where are my eyebrows?
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