Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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