it hurts more in the daytime
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize