kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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