Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
