Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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