Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
