Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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