Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
