DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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