You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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