How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
