Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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