Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
