Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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