Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
