Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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