I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
ttyl tear gas
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just puked most of my soul out..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
