dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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