Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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