My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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