I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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