if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
