absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
