youre lurking in front of me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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