not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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