Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We got so high we made milksteak
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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