You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
