I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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