i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
