She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im part way to drunk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
