It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
