I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize