porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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