are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
